While at Pantai Ampang Hospital with my dad for his follow-up appointment with Dr Lim Chin Seng, dad reminded me that mom wanted to hang lanterns at our home for this coming Lunar New Year.

He said, "Remember last year you and mom went to look for the lanterns last minute but you couldn't find it? In fact, all the hooks for the lanterns are ready - 12 of them."

Then he continued, " Why don't we put up the lanterns so that mom can see it when she comes back?"
Once he said that, I couldn't hold back my tears anymore.


I thought after 7 weeks, I would be okay. But no - today it hit me again.
In the afternoon I went to HUKM hospital to get refund from my deposit from my mom's hospitalization on 6 Dec. Again, lots of memories flashed back - on how I brought her to emergency room on 6 Dec and how I witnessed her heart rate drop to zero flat line. The pain just rushed in as I sat there waiting to be called.

After HUKM, I decided to go to buy the lanterns.

And in the evening. I adjusted the sofa outside for dad to sit and hold on to the lanterns while I one by one hung up the 11 lanterns (short of 1 hook).

Dad was happy. I could see the smiling face. He said he wanted my mom to see it when she comes back.

This Lunar New Year would have been different without mom. I come from a small family. Usually only my parents and I who spend the lunar new year together. Sister usually is with my brother-in-lay's family.